Wednesday, July 19, 2006
i changed my bluddy blogskin and then *lalabam*... someone else has the same skin. after all m "hard" work!!! DAMMIT. ah well. shoot that.
i haven't really got private time to blog cz a friend is bunking at my house. i can't be myself man. no freedom of expression at home anymore. i can't say "BLUDDYHELL" or some shyt lyk that out loud this whole week. taking over the com anytime i walk away, she's constantly peeking in on my convos over my shoulders. i don't mind, but some convos aren't meant to be read by her. some things, she musn't know.call me selfish or whatever. im just not used to ...er.. sharing my room, my com with outsiders i'm not close to anymore. i can't let her see some things lahhh. she's the angelic goody two shoes kinda person and some things i do are just big no-no's to her. and if she finds out...she'll tell another friend of ours, and that friend will go to the youth pastor, and then KABAM. i'll be in shyt. terus sent to counseling or something lyk that.
and i totally relate to what nana sed in her last post. i am getting nowhere with my studies. more tahn half a year gone, and my brain is literally empty. lyk some broken eggshell with yolk flowing out everywhere. info masuk one ear, keluar the other. no confidence for this pmr thingy thing. and as much as i moan bout myself being lazy. i CAN'T seem to get off my laurels n glue my eyes to the book and move my fingers. if only i could be remote controlled. forced to do whatever the remote commands. haha. confirm i'll be genius-fied!
and for no danged reason i'm constantly feeling down. i don't even know why! i sit awake at nyte n think n think n think n i'm still stuck there empty-minded. completely blank. but feeling that annoying feeling of frust and nada progress at anything. neither moving forward, neither moving backwards. just stuck. dont know how to shoo it away either. maybe i just have too much time on my hands that my head just floats away to goodness knows where. when i'm with my best mates i'm fine. im hyper, cz they're such hyper ppl too! xixi n nana always cheer me up. but at home, im just stoned stoned stoned. BAH. blame loneliness.
anyways, friend's gonna pop into my room any moment now. update lagi people. xP
oh and nana all the bestest at running tmr aight?! BERJAYAAAA!!
sry babe, i'm just dead drained of energy. the thot of hot sun n no food n dinks n boredom sittingin the stands is jsut too much for a tired pig lyk me. will cheer more on the 27th kaaaayy. muuuuuaaaacck.
<3>
10:21 PM
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